Merry Christmas or Happy holidays?

Merry Christmas or Happy holidays? This is debate that flairs up every November-December in America.

On the side of “Happy Holidays” you have people and businesses who are trying to appeal to the greatest number of customers. On the side of those who take offense to “Happy holidays” and prefer “Merry Christmas”, you have Christians who feel that “Happy Holidays” is an attack on their beliefs. Some on the “Merry Christmas” side have even gone so far as to call for a boycott of businesses that say “Happy Holidays” as opposed to “Merry Christmas.” I’m not sure about your locale, but you can often find people driving around with the following “Keep Christ in Christmas” car magnets.

It should come as no surprise that I feel that the “Merry Christmas” crowd is acting like a bunch of angry children. Let’s examine the rationale behind why a person might say “Happy holidays” or “Merry Christmas” :

The idea behind “Happy holidays” is simple. There are several holidays celebrated  in the month of December. Since it is not easy to tell just by looking at someone what their religion is, it is a polite way of saying “I wish you well in whichever of the several holidays you will be observing.” It’s nice, it covers everybody, and doesn’t discriminate.

Now, for the “Merry Christmas” people who take offense to “Happy Holidays” their reasoning is some flavor of the following reasons:

I celebrate Christmas, therefore my holiday is the only holiday that really matters.

This is my country, founded on my religion, and everyone else should bow down to the superiority of MY holiday.

You can have your little Hanukkah, or Solstice, or whatever, but normal people like ME celebrate CHRISTmas!

To say “Happy Holidays” is to spit in the face of that majority’s cultural tradition! It’s an attack on my religious freedom [read as: freedom to oppress, marginalize, and belittle those of different faiths]!”

Now someone who takes offense to “Happy Holidays”  might not hold every aspect of the above self-righteous rage, but their reasoning ultimately stems from one of the above mentioned examples.

When someone takes offense to “Happy Holidays” or any other attempt to include others of differing viewpoints in the seasonal celebrations, they truly are acting like a spoiled child throwing a temper-tantrum. I’m sorry if you feel uncomfortable by the existence of people with differing views. I’m sorry if you can’t stand the thought that your holiday might not be superior to, and deserving deference from, all the other holidays going on during this season.

Grow up.

Christmas, the worst time of the year

Thanksgiving was yesterday, the last finger holding us onto the ledge has slipped; we now freely fall into the Christmas abyss. Over the course of the next twenty-eight days we will reach terminal velocity, culminating in an orgasm of commercialism and religious fervor. Ah…Christmas in America. This truly is the worst season to be an atheist.

Atheists are always aware of how different they are in a country as awash in Christian privilege as America; December is the month that the rest of the believing populace becomes aware of this difference too. This is the time of year when the separation of church and state comes under the heaviest attack. Tis the season when the willfully ignorant come out in droves to proclaim the marriage of America and Jesus. Defiantly they make their stand against political correctness. Through their eyes they are the majority, the only ones who matter. America is a Christian nation founded by god himself! The non-Christians should be grateful that they are allowed to live in such a wonderful country, and they must humbly show their respect by being quiet during this most Christian time of the year.

To the rest of us, they come off a belligerent and rude, like a man wearing a offensively sexist t-shirt to meeting of professional women. This is the time of year they will demand that nativity scenes and Christian signs be placed on government property, to the exclusion of other faiths. Never mind the fact that there are conflicting accounts of the nativity story and that the government must remain neutral in matters of religion (heaven forbid they actually read the bible or the constitution). When the secular stand up and call foul, we’re accused of having a “war on Christmas.”

In the past, people have gone so far as to organize boycotts of stores that instruct their employees to say “Happy Holidays” as apposed to “Merry Christmas.” Belligerent ignorance. I’m sorry you’re unaware that there are, in fact, other holidays going on in the same general time frame, thus “Happy Holidays” would be more appropriate. But again, to them this is a Christian nation, and Christmas is the only holiday of importance. Nevermind the fact that Christmas is actually an old Pagan holiday.

Despite this minor historical point, this is the time of year signs like this start popping up all around the country:

I have no problem with Christians celebrating Christmas. I have no problem with them decorating their homes, or erecting nativity scenes on their lawns, or on their church lawns. While I would prefer that people realize that not everyone is Christian and said the more generalized “Happy Holidays,” I’m not overly offended if someone says it to me with the best of intentions. I don’t even have a problem with Christians erecting a Christian display on government property for Christmas, as long as everyone is then allowed to erect a display. In order for the government to remain neutral, as it serves everyone, not just Christians, it must allow all or none. Unfortunately the belligerently ignorant insist on preventing some groups from displaying signs depicting beliefs contrary to their own. This is the time of year that the belligerently ignorant go out of their way to make you feel like a second class citizen. The nonbeliever is not only constantly bombarded by visual messages reinforcing this, but by audio ones as well. This is the time of year that the radio stations and stores switch over to playing almost exclusively Christmas music. You cannot listen to the radio, or enter a place of business without hearing some Christmas tune.

This bombardment will last for the next twenty-eight days. The only thing an atheist can do is hunker down, stay in doors, rent some movies, crank up the secular podcasts, and wait for the frenzy to pass.

Presents make me depressed…

It’s almost my birthday, and presents are starting to come in. I don’t know why, but presents have always made me depressed, be it birthday, christmas, graduation, whatever. I always feel like I haven’t really done anything to deserve a present.

It’s even worse when I get a present I don’t want. It’s not that I get angry like a spoiled brat that I didn’t get what I asked for, I just feel bad that people spent money on me, and imagine the present feeling hurt and rejected, which I know is silly. Sorta like a puppy, opened up at christmas, and then rejected by the child it was intended for, so the puppy is then put in a box and on the curb to whimper in the rain, alone, unwanted, and cold…

I’ve have had a bad history with present and my family. I’m not saying they give bad presents, no, we’ve just had a bad history around present giving.

My dad used to travel a lot for business. He would always stop and get me presents to bring home. I remember the first time I got a present I didn’t really like. It was a t-shirt or something, can’t remember what it was of, but I finally worked up the courage to tell him thanks, but I didn’t want it. That made me cry. I felt so horrible.

(I remember watching some Nickelodeon game show as a kid where they were blowing up RC cars. I remember crying over this because I imagined a nice small group of people at the toy factory, putting a lot of love into making these little RC cars in the hopes that children would enjoy playing with them, only for these innocent cars to be blow up in a heartless manner for some amusement.)

Anyways, the worst I remember was my 12 year old birthday. I got nothing that I asked for, and all the presents were weird little things including this plane that hung from some fishing line and flew around. It was very heavy in the back and I couldn’t figure out how to get it to work. It kept wanting to go backwards. I cried about that, thought it was stupid how they made it so heavy in the back. That broke my parents’ hearts. And then it broke mine for breaking theirs.

The next present giving occasion I fucked up was one in which my parents got me a video camera. I again had made a list of things I would be interested in as presents, and again got nothing on the list. (My parents always used to ask us to make a christmas list, I was especially hard to buy presents for because of my extremely niched hobby) Anyways, I had written this list of possible presents, all of which were not very expensive, and my parents went out and bought an expensive video camera that I didn’t ask for. At the time I didn’t think I would need one. Yeah my friends and I were making movies, but we already had a camera. (My “friend” and I were always in a “keeping up with the Jones-es”  war, he always had to have the newest and best thing, better than mine, and so he relegated my camera to backup camera)

Well I got upset with my parents for spending this much money on a camera I didn’t want, instead of a whole list of possible things I did want that were drastically cheaper, and that broke their hearts again, and again mine. My mother broke down in tears, and my dad just left the room, silent. I still haven’t forgiven myself for saying anything. I did end up liking the camera, and it did come in handy.

You’d think I would have learned. I got upset another christmas later when I got an ipod instead of a more basic mp3 player. I hated the popularity of ipods, and was trying to resist. I figured I only needed a CD worth of music, not a could GB. (I later would change my mind) But I again got upset and approached my parents about it, wanting them to return it and get a cheaper one as so to save the money) My mother again broke down in tears, and my father, furious, came out and said how they had been a gift to from a business client, that he didn’t spend any money on them. I felt like shit. Again.

I think I’ve finally learned to just shut up and accept presents. My girlfriend pointed out that she thought this practice of “making a list of the things you’d like” and asking people “what do you want for X” was particular, and that presents were not supposed to be given that way. They aren’t supposed to be something you ask for in advance, they are supposed to be a surprise gift that someone thinks you will enjoy, that they are giving to you because they care.

I fucked up presents so bad in the past with my family they just make me depressed now. I wish I hadn’t said anything and just enjoyed them for what they were.

Christmas is no reason to celebrate

A) Why do christians celebrate Christmas?

B) Because it is the day the birth of Jesus Christ is celebrated.

A) And why is that such a big deal?

B) Because it’s the birth of the savior.

A) Savior of what?

B) Humanity, he will save everyone from their wicked sins and sinful nature, this way you won’t burn in the excruciating torment of hell for all eternity, if you accept him and join us of course.

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So basically, celebrate because despite the fact that you’re a rotten, worthless, horrible sinner that deserves only to burn in hell and suffer forever, Jesus has come to forgive you for whatever you have done (or haven’t done) and save you….

Well excuse me for not being so merry. You might want to go on a masochistic, self-hating guilt trip, but not me, no thank you! I’m a damn good person. I don’t need a system of rewards and punishment to make me care about my fellow human beings. I don’t need some eternal man in the sky looking over my shoulder all the time to make sure I do the right thing.

Go ahead, celebrate how little you think of yourself and all humanity has accomplished, I’ll pass.

Sometimes I wish I had a religion

Sometimes I wish I had a religion, just to be able to claim all the crap modern religions do. For example, there is a scene in Angels and Demons where one of the Vatican police officers warns Robert Langdon to watch his tongue inside the holy Vatican city. Sometimes I wish I had a religion so I could do that. Imagine, being able to tell religious people that they must hold their tongues and be respectful inside a science museum! Damn that would feel good.

But unfortunately science doesn’t work like that. Science by nature wants you to question! Religions ask you to hold your tongue.

I wish that I could have special holidays that I could take off class/work, with party napkins and special cards, along with sales and “Happy _________” signs.

It would be nice to just  demand blanket respect for my views, and my restrictions on criticizing me put into law. I’d be nice to claim a monopoly on morality and influence the government to enact policies we deem acceptable. It’d be nice to have my faith on the currency and in the pledge too.

It’d be nice to have a list of holy sites and symbols, along with old and sometimes secretive orders. All this would be awesome. Especially the respect and influencing law part.