About to graduate…do I deserve it?

28 Apr

In 17 days I will be graduating with my Bachelor’s degree in History. I’m starting to have second thoughts about everything. What have I learned in four years? Well, not much. I know a bit more about history than I did when I graduated high school, but that’s not saying much since I was obsessed with the subject back then. I already knew a lot compared to other students going in. I guess I’ve learned how to write papers. That’s pretty much it. I’ve learned how to research and write. Is that worth $35,000 a year for 4 years? I’m not sure.

I’ve had an interesting experience. I’ve meet some great people, expanded my views on a lot of things, and got to experiment with new interests. But that’s not what I’m worried about. The social and life experiences were great, I’m just worried about what I know academically. I don’t feel like I deserve a Bachelor’s degree. Yeah, I’ve worked hard over these past 4 years, not going to parties, pulling all nighters on papers, traveling for history conferences, etc, but I don’t feel like I know enough to be given a B.A. I’m worried that everyone else knows more than me in their fields and that I’m still the same as when I graduated high school. I feel like I’m just pretending, and that some day it’s all going to catch up to me and I’ll be exposed for my lack of knowledge. 😦

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