I really miss living history

8 Jan

I first started doing living history when I was 12 years old. I always had the next even marked on my calendar, and was constantly thinking of new things to build for the events. I loved going to our weekly meetings, getting together at friend’s houses and doing crafts nights, and sword practice on Sundays. I had somewhere I felt I belonged.

Well the group I was so fond of growing up fell apart, and some of my treasured bridges burned. I joined a new group that I was ok, but I hadn’t grown up with them. Plus they were mainly based 4 hours away, so I couldn’t go see them regularly. What really put a kink in my hobby was college. I suddenly had almost no time to work on medieval things, let alone the space and money to do so. My re-enacting fell to one event a year, and I lost myself.

I didn’t have sword practice regularly, and so I started to forget. I had my suit of armor, but it stood solemnly collecting dust in my bedroom. I no longer spent evenings in the living room, with a mug of hot chocolate, a fire roaring in the hearth, and my favorite medieval movies on while I sat there and sewed together whatever item I was working on for the upcoming event. That was my childhood, and now it’s really depressing.

I feel like over the years of not really doing anything, I lost a burning passion, a passion that set me apart from other people. I had something I loved and could talk for hours about, but now that’s gone. My girlfriend has a passion like that for gaming, and while I listen intently to her lectures on the subject, and even participate in games with her, that is and always will be her passion, not mine.

I want my passion back. This all peaked my senior year in college. Right before I am to graduate I come to startling realization that I no longer have a passion for anything. I had always wanted to be an archaeologist working in castles. I wanted to find things that re-enactors would then research when trying to create things for their camp. I spent years preparing to pursue that career, worked in internships, field schools, weekends, even traveled to England for a month, only to decide that I had lost my love for it.

Now I’m afraid of becoming just another cog. Another bland slice of bread. Nothing special about me when I put on my dress shirt and tie to go into work.  I really feel I’ve lost something unique and defining about myself. I want it back.

I hope that now I’m going to graduate and get a job, I’ll have some more time, and money for that matter, to pursue my hobby. I want to become more involved in my living history group, perhaps join others as well. I want to go to events more, get more connected. I want to find another western martial arts group to train with, get back in shape. I want the excitement from my childhood back.

4 Responses to “I really miss living history”

  1. Oddysey January 8, 2010 at 2:11 am #

    Also: living history is sexy.

  2. isnessie January 11, 2010 at 8:08 am #

    I really wish you all the best in this. It’s pretty important, and I understand why you feel the way you do. I’m also trying to avoid the apathetic slide into cogsville.

  3. Charlie February 26, 2010 at 9:37 am #

    Hang onto your dreams and your hot cocoa by the fire, my friend. College put the kabosh on my LH participation too, but I am not giving up. We will have time in our lives again for such educational and entertaining pursuits, but for now, college is the season we are in, and it will help us reach our goals. Sometimes a little time away from that which you surrounded yourself with for so long can be a great way to approach it afresh, passion rekinled and fueled with the stuff of additional knowledge. (smile)

    Are you going to MTA? If I can get up on crutches or a cane and drive myself, I hope to attend, to refresh the inspirational juices, so to speak.

    Best regards as always,

    -Charlie aka Oli aka Rhys aka Martin.

  4. Arisson March 2, 2010 at 6:44 am #

    I am assuming that you are in the US (I’m in Australia) and I can fully empathise with you. In my younger days I was an avid martial artist. I even did ok, 3rd at the national titles (400 fighter event) but that was many years ago.
    I moved away and tried to get back into the martial arts thing but could never find a club with the same chemistry and I have been searching ever since with no luck.
    Last year (09) there was an event in my own city and I went and found all of these LHer’s coming from all over the state.
    It was then I collected my mates who were into medieval history and had a little ‘go’ in them and we started our own group.
    We are small at the moment, not even a year old but we have managed a connection with a group of 5 chapters and over 600 members to affiliate and we go to our first event as a fully fedged group in June this year.
    Perhaps you should look at starting your own group.

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