Being creepy…

20 Jul

I’m afraid I come across as a creepy guy in real life. It’s something I’m paranoid about. A lot of times I just don’t know what to say, and so I just end up standing there, quietly, like I’m hovering. :-\

I’m always trying desperately to think of some topic of conversation, but sometimes I find myself telling these slightly long stories that people just aren’t too interested in, or I accidentally make some off-hand comment.

I’m really not that good at making friends. I’m trying to get better at it. It was a skill I never learned In school from 4th grade I had 1 friend for all ,and didn’t bother going out and making new friends.

Now I try to just smile and be enthusiastic when meeting people. I try to talk about them and not ask really stupid questions, though sometimes I find myself asking the same thing twice later in the conversation because my memory sucks. So far I’ve found that when it comes to trying to become friends with women, it really helps if I mention my girlfriend.

I take it they are on guard for guys who are hitting on them and just trying to get in their pants, and when I mention that I have a girlfriend back home they no longer see me as a danger. I notice they really relax after they learn this.

I really don’t want to be “that creepy guy” I just feel like it’s a vibe I give off. 😦

5 Responses to “Being creepy…”

  1. isnessie July 21, 2009 at 6:54 am #

    I don’t think your paranoia is completely unjustified – but before you think I’m calling you creepy, this is why:
    Unfortunately, there are so many of those creepy, just-wanna-be-all-slimy-and-get-in-your-pants kind of guys who fancy themselves smooth talkers, who plague women, that I think most of us have become hardwired into taking pre-emptive measures to make sure we don’t get stuck in a convo with one.

    Sadly, of course not all guys are like that (for example, you) but it’s hard to tell and we might jump the gun sometimes. Good move mentioning you have a gal, though it’s a pity these days you have to make your intentions so blindingly clear before you can have a friendly conversation with someone.

    I think in general it’s difficult to make friends in today’s society. Even people who go out to clubs etc. often have trouble meeting people outside of their own circle. I’ve spent whole weekends with friends of friends, getting on well enough but never managing to make a connection. I have this theory that our capacity for different kinds of friendships are changing.

  2. isnessie July 21, 2009 at 6:54 am #

    *is changing

  3. godlesspaladin July 21, 2009 at 6:32 pm #

    I think I’d be inclined to agree with you.

  4. Brian July 26, 2009 at 6:01 pm #

    I think it’s a combination of people being a lot more suspicious and cautious about who they meet in public, and a lack of general manners among people born after 1960 or so.

    Too many of us were not taught how to carry ourselves in public. We were just supposed to pick it up along the way. Too many people don’t know really basic skills, like how to shake hands (the web of flesh between your hand and thumb should meet theirs, and a handshake should be firm but not vice-like), forget more complex etiquette, like how to introduce people to each other.

    Couple that with a growing suspicion of other people (especially white adult males), and you have a recipe for mass loneliness.

  5. Oddysey August 5, 2009 at 2:33 am #

    The implication here that there are large numbers of people who have worse social skills than I do is terrifying. How do you not know how to shake hands? I think I learned that from reading books.

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