The giant teapot in the sky, the father of us all, the giver of all morals and the TRUTH tells us that it is an abomination for a man and a woman to lie together. If we don’t get this country back to the moral foundations laid out by the giant teapot, the creator all the founding fathers worshiped and acknowledged, then we will most certainly face our destruction. Just look at how society has strayed from the teachings of the giant teapot. Public education, automobiles, and hats, all go against the moral teachings found in the giant teapot’s book, the TRUTH. I pray for the poor ignorant souls of those who have not yet been saved by the giant teapot. If they would only let him into their hearts. They must be so sad leading their pointless lives without his comforting tea. May the giant teapot have pity on them. I know I could not make it through a single day without the giant teapot’s love.
Naturally, this is all absurd. That’s the point. When theists start going off about their god, a magical, invisible man in the sky, who decrees laws and morals, it sounds just as absurd to me as the above rant.