Heaven is Hell

26 May

As a little kid, did you ever take a plane ride and look out the window onto the clouds, hoping to see angels or perhaps a dead love one? I did, and I’m pretty sure millions of other kids have too.

Growing up, I never really thought of heaven much. I knew that I wanted to go there, but beyond that I didn’t give it much thought. Then I started thinking about all the people I knew who wouldn’t go to heaven, how it would make me really sad if someone I loved was burning forever in hell. How could I be happy in heaven knowing someone I loved was suffering? How could anybody?

I used to think that perhaps if I made a deal with god to trade spaces with someone in hell, he’d see the goodness in that act and we’d both be free to live in heaven. That or maybe if I just asked Jesus to forgive that person even if they didn’t ask for it…..

But what I really found fascinating was the idea of eternity. I was brought up to believe that if you were good and believed in Jesus you would spend eternity in heaven with god, where you would always be happy and feel no pain. Can you imagine eternity? Could you imagine being stuck in one place forever? I’d go crazy! I couldn’t do it, it would eventually become hell for me. The only way I’d be happy would to not exist, to not be conscious of time.

If I had to be conscious of time, I guess I could be happy if I had complete freedom of movement within time and space. I could be there for every event in human (and alien) history. I could go see the moment of creation, spend summers in distant galaxies, explore. Unfortunately, I don’t think my pastor thought this was part of the all-inclusive package.

The heaven that the people at places like “Liberty” “University” speak of would drive me up the wall. An all white gated community, where I am forced to be god’s cheerleader for all eternity. I’d be much more happy not existing.

4 Responses to “Heaven is Hell”

  1. ghostwriter May 26, 2009 at 8:45 am #

    Beautiful picture!I don’t know why im drawn to talk to you,i guess God will let me know later.I can tell that your a good person and are looking for some answers from and about God.But only He can answer them.I study the bible alot and it answers most of my questions the rest of the answers i have to get from God.I have a heart for people,so i tell them about God all the time.If i could quit my job,walk the streets and tell the world about Him walking state to state i would(if i did’nt have a wife and four kids).Ha ha ha!I really pray that you do’nt give give up on God,because he has’nt given up on you.

  2. godlesspaladin May 26, 2009 at 11:54 am #

    Haha, yes, I have “given up” on god(s). I was a born again christian a few years back, and I knew my bible more than anyone, so I’m fairly familiar with the stuff. Despite what a lot of christians think, letting go of the idea of a god(s) is not a sad and depressing thing. You should have seen me when I was a believer, miserable. Once I let go of the idea life suddenly became more worth wild, beautiful, wonderful to me. The past few years as an Atheist have been some of my happiest! 🙂

  3. ghostwriter May 26, 2009 at 12:36 pm #

    I am where you were.I am in my bible daily.And everyday God shows me a different side of Him.It really blows my mind what He btells me and the instructions he gives.I do’nt know how i survived without Him in my life.

  4. godlesspaladin May 26, 2009 at 1:09 pm #

    Well if it works for you that’s cool. :-p

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