An atheist’s lament

3 Feb

I’m an Atheist extremist. I guess there is no way around it. I think I might be crazy. If I’m not crazy then I must be wrong. At least that’s what everyone around me seems to be telling me. I don’t know what to do, I feel like a teenager again. People are telling me I’m wrong for reasons I can’t understand. What I think and believe seem common sense enough to me, but for some reason unknown to me, everything I think is apparently wrong.

My dream would be a world without religion, but I know that won’t happen any time soon. People on-line excluded, I’m the only person I know who really dislikes religion. I know other Atheists, but none of them are anti-religionists too. They just don’t seem to think religion is a negative, or don’t care.

I feel like the only one who looks around and sees all this bad shit that is happening in the world directly because of religion, but everyone else around me wants to just wants to ignore it all together. There were old men passing out bibles today outside my cafeteria. They weren’t even full bibles, only the new testament. I got really mad at them and when they offered me one I told them, “No thanks, fairy tales are for kids…” Am I the only one who gets upset at the idea of them filling people’s head with nonsense and superstition? Perhaps I’m just an evil asshole.

Sometimes I wish I could be religious. Sometimes I wish I could just give in and stop thinking. It would feel so nice to belong for once. To not be screamed at, have bumper stickers stolen, or to be given dirty looks. I really hate feeling like an outcast 24/7. Everywhere I look I see religion. It’s constantly in my face, and thus I am constantly reminded that I am socially unacceptable. It’s ok to pass out bibles, but it’s not ok to pass out copies of “The god Delusion.” Why? Why is it not ok? Because Atheists are wrong? Evil? Surely some flavor of the two. Sometimes I really hate being an Atheist…..

2 Responses to “An atheist’s lament”

  1. Sisyphus Fragment February 3, 2009 at 5:17 pm #

    The weight of reality is a heavy burden to carry indeed. If only atheism had a warning label: “If you accept this package you will be ostracized by your family, friends, and some presidents.”

    Then again, you call yourself the “Godless Paladin”. The sane man in an insane world must realize there is pride in his much needed work. This banner is heavy, but it is of the upmost importance you that carry it. If you don’t, who will?

  2. louhikaarme February 4, 2009 at 7:40 am #

    I know what you mean by sometimes wanting to be religious – or even spiritual… It would ease the guilt of making ones own ethical choices and being totally responsible for them. Somebody to blame…

    I have it easier than you – Finland is, despite of having state church (dammit), one of most secularist countries in the world. I usually do not stand out at all. At least living in Helsinki. I did feel uncomfortable when I still lived in the small village where they happen to have strong christian revival movement.

    BTW, I love your blog.<3

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